I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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