Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
