I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
