i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
