I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
