Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
