you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
