he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
don't judge my taste in strippers
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Congratulations! We have a period
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