You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
