Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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