there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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