Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
