I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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