just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
