Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
