..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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