just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
