Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
