Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
