Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
