Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
