the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
