office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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