right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
