Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
