Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
