I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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