is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
