She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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