Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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