$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
