The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
