Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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