every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your cock deserves a montage
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
