im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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