D3 body, D1 cock
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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