I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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