Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dignity is for republicans.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
