I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
