the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
