forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
