There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
