dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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