you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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