I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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