What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
