so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
