May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
