Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
