using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
