Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
