i just had sex bonerless
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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