I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
